Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
