Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
