I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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