i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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