I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
