I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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