Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
