I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
they're like a gay fantastic four
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The Olympian is in my bed