woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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