Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.