listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND