Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
