I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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