I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
