Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
