Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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