So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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