Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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