just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
