you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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