Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
