hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
