Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
