I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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