You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
