LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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