there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Farmville is her only friend.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
