shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
