no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize