just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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