His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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