my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
