Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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