Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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