Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
worst night to have a conscience
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
