Don't you send me to vm
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
