Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
