Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize