so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
