Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
