Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
