I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
