My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
COCAINE IS GR8
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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