it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
