You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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