i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You can't motorboat a personality
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
