I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
