Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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