my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize