awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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