I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
