Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
