i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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