Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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