Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm both gender and math confused
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