he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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