Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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