Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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