I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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