he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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