JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
