We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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