I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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