dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
