Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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