We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
