Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
